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monster within

Nung una kong sinulat ang "Letting Go" sa blog na to, it was really just a write up, or should i say gawa ng malikot kong isip at katha ng mga naguunahang salita mula sa aking diwa. Gusto ko lang magsulat non.

Malamang, ako pa din ang nahihirapan at ako pa din ang nasasaktan sa ganitong sitwasyon. Kasi sabi nga, they who go feel not the pain of parting, it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with the memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.

Nakakaasar, ikaw na ang iniwan ikaw pa rin ang nasasaktan. Crap di ba?! Unfair as it may seem but that’s the way love goes. That’s the drama, the bitter, sweet and risks of falling in love. Pero wala na akong magagawa, nothing is constant but change. Lagi ko na lang iniisip na everything will eventually come to its end without me knowing how, without me ever knowing why. And I must forget, not because I want to, because I have to.

Nakakaasar pa, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems like everywhere I go, everything I do, every song I hear, every turn of my head, every move of my body, every beat of my heart, every blink of my eye, and every breath I take will always remind me of him. It is like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are six billion people on earth and yet it seems I feel lonely and empty without the other.

I know my friends are there for me forever to help me grow and move on. But I’m not really sure how am I going to do this or when will this "thing" called letting go happen. There’s this monster inside me na sobrang nakakapraningan ko. It was really hard.. really really hard. I cried, i cried a lot and i dont know what to do.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkle with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on my part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all wishes come true. Not all love stories end with “and they live happily ever after.” Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry temporarily to let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we have to live up. It’s over. He’s gone. But life has to go on….

Comments

  1. life has to go on... di lang naman sa kanya iikot mundo mo... just like a book, when a chapter end, a new chapter will begin...

    ReplyDelete
  2. yeah, it can be easily said, but sooo hard to do it. :(

    ReplyDelete

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